


it wasn't always like this

by skysolo (PuppyWillGraham)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon, a little bit of character study/focus, a little fluff? kinda?, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5577273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppyWillGraham/pseuds/skysolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Kylo is the kind of cold that burns, Hux is the kind of cold that is unrelenting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it wasn't always like this

**Author's Note:**

> what is it with me and shipping things i never imagined i would ship? 
> 
> it's always the trashiest characters together, too. 
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

If the sound of equipment being smashed and shouting didn't alert General Hux to Kylo Ren's whereabouts, then the stormtroopers walking in the opposite direction to his own with hurried steps would be enough to clue him in. It's not the first time the Sith lord has lost his temper with such an unrefined flair and not a care for the fact it's the general's equipment and those under his command he's disturbing in their jobs. It wouldn't be the last time, either, if he knew Kylo Ren, and he does know him. 

He knows him very well, as a matter of fact. Has known him for a long time now, ever since he was brought in from the Light and submerged into the Dark. That doesn't mean Kylo doesn't piss him off more often than not, though, when the broken equipment and flustered staff are added to their precarious equation. 

"Ren." The general breaks the stark silence left in the wave of destruction. 

"General." The reply comes after a few seconds of Kylo getting his breathing under a better level of control. 

Then he leaves, and Hux is left to clear up the mess as best he can before he orders someone more adept to repairing what's broken and tossing out what's been destroyed beyond any sense of repair. It's not the first time General Hux has been left to clean up these sorts of messes, nor others that were between them, and it wouldn't be the last of the former. 

The latter messes, between them, however, was a different matter altogether. 

Not that Hux ever allows himself to dwell on what was once between them, back when Kylo had only been there for that first year. He sometimes wonders if Kylo does, if the other not being completely submerged in the Dark Side yet is anything to decipher. He's seen him struggle, sometimes. 

General Hux doesn't struggle anymore, not after being here for as long as he can remember. Maybe that's the difference between them both, despite their small age gap and Hux being older. After all, he didn't get to one of the highest ranks in the First Order by struggling. Nor did he get to the rank of General by continuing to help in the way he did a little after he and Kylo had just met. They helped each other, back then. The way that he supposes friends would, or frenemies.

It hasn't always been a competition between them, though, he ponders within as he orders the rest of the mess to be cleared up and then passes Captain Phasma, who gives him nothing more than a short glance. 

Entering his quarters soon after, he finds that more often than usual Kylo Ren is playing on his mind. He doesn't usually allow himself the temptation of remembering their past, but maybe just this once he would. If it would scratch the imagined itch, and it would clear the thoughts out of his head, so they're not forced out onto his tongue when he next comes face to face with his adversary and their mutual Supreme Leader, Snoke. 

Hux shivers, remembering how cold it always is whenever they're summoned to give Snoke updates and lengthy, detailed reports and of course, results.

Shaking his head to rid himself of those particular thoughts, he summons memories of the past between nothing but himself and Kylo Ren.

He remembers distinctly the younger man's face and just how young he looked and how tempted he was to kiss him until those lips were a red that was telling of what had transpired. He remembers the stutter in his voice, the speech impediment when he was nervous and had to give small reports to Snoke, just like Hux did, as well, and Hux would help Kylo as best he could with whatever time they had to themselves in their shared quarters. He remembers pressing warm hands to tense, stiffly set shoulders and making the other boy relax in his grasp whenever Kylo had gotten so flustered and frustrated and angry that he'd lashed out at someone or something, until his anger issues improved and Hux would flash him a secretive smile in the mirror they sat in front of so they could see that it was real and not just a fever dream. 

The memories used to make warmth pool in the general's lower abdomen and stomach, until he learned how to prevent it. It wasn't that the memories weren't nice, they were, it was the fact that he couldn't fool himself into believing that anything like that would ever happen between them again, not in the way it did back then. It used to hurt; that people like him, people like them, would never get a happy sort of ending. 

The only thing that had made him feel less bitter about that fact was that it wasn't just him who'd have some sort of horrible ending, or no ending at all. It wasn't as if Kylo would end up with anything better, and certainly not if he couldn't reign that anger in and use it in a constructive way rather than smashing his equipment to irrepairable pieces. 

Hux's hands are suddenly clenched and he remembers how it used to be warm between himself and the Sith lord. Not anymore, though. If Kylo is the sort of cold that burns everything it comes into contact with, then Hux is the cold that is biting and snappish and unrelenting. 

- 

General Hux curses under his breath and pushes himself to his feet so he can march towards Kylo Ren's quarters, knowing the way to them like the back of his hand. The door is unlocked, of course, and the other man is there, of course, sat on the floor. He's facing the mirror with his helmet off and staring into eyes that used to be warm instead of cold, eyes that used to be full of life and were alive instead of being dead. 

"Hux-" Kylo is cut off with lips pressed hard to his own and a hand in his hair that tugs insistently until the Sith lord raises a hand to propel Hux towards the opposite wall. He hopes the blow isn't too soft, caught completely off guard. Except he's not, not completely, when he knows what the general has been thinking of and dwelling on. "You know not to do that." 

Not trying to catch him off guard like that, at least. 

"The door is locked," Hux wheezes out, much to his own chagrin and a lazy smirk on Kylo's face that is soon gone and replaced by a look of annoyance. Too soon, if you asked Hux. It makes something within his chest pang with something that's probably longing. "I checked." 

"I didn't say you could enter." 

"I don't usually need to ask in so many words," Hux feigns a look of indifference. "I never used to." 

"We're not kids, not anymore," Kylo flicks his wrist and the Force drops his general to the floor in a heap of limps he used to enjoy getting tangled within. "We don't do that anymore." 

Hux coughs and moves to his feet so he can straighten up to his full height. "You've never thought about it?" 

It's uncharacteristic now of the general to lead a conversation like this, just between the two of them, like they used to. But Hux can't help himself. Something propels him towards doing so. 

Kylo stares at the other man, and the other man stares back, getting lost in the abyss that hasn't been afforded to either of them in a long time by now. Hux would never admit it vocally, not even under duress, that he's almost missed it. Kylo would never admit it vocally, either, although he doesn't know what he'd admit under duress when it comes to...whatever this is, or whatever had been between them once upon a time. 

"You're not denying it." Hux observes with ease, although he's rooted to the spot and unsure of what he even wants to transpire between them now that he's here and Kylo hasn't just turned him away. Like he would with someone who was under their command. Like he would if it was anyone other than Hux. 

Kylo has always felt weaker than Hux; he still feels the Light caress him with Her soothing tendrils occasionally, like his mother's hair used to brush over his face when he was a very young infant, and he knows for a fact that Hux never has any internal struggle, certainly not anymore. You didn't become a general with his ranking when you still battled the better part of yourself. He also knows that there's no better part of Hux, not after the way it's been completely snuffed out. 

"What would I gain from lying to you?" Kylo stares into the mirror again, but instead of focusing his gaze on himself, he chooses to pin that on the man a couple of steps behind him, awaiting an answer. A truthful one, no doubt. General Hux may be an asshole to him when he wants to be, but he didn't lie, not to him. 

"Nothing," Hux answers readily, moving until he's sat behind Kylo to raise his hands slowly so he doesn't catch the younger of the pair off guard again like he had with the kiss. Kylo inclines his head in acquiescence, allowing Hux to continue, letting him know he's aware of what the general is doing. "Nor would I, you." 

"Good." That's all Kylo says, and then Hux's hands are on his shoulders, working out the tension and the knots that he only feels now that someone is soothing them out of his body. He's used to the pain, a feeling so integral to him that he can't help but to exhale a soft hum as the pain leeches out of him with each careful circling of thumbs and press of palms from one of the only people who'd dare to touch him like this, perhaps the only person Kylo would allow.

They may have a loathing of each other more often than not, but there's always been trust there. It would be a risk to their whole operation if there wasn't, thus allowing chinks in the armor the First Order is presenting to other worlds in the galaxy and beyond that.

- 

Hux massages Kylo's shoulders but doesn't touch skin on skin. He hasn't done that in a number of years, and only when the Sith lord allowed him as much. He does, however, press his lips to the side of Kylo's neck after another minimal nod to allow him to do so when he's finished with the massage. 

A flicker of that secretive smile is shared between them in the mirror, just like old times, before Hux takes his leave and returns back to his own quarters to sleep, not having realized just how long he'd stayed with Kylo.

**Author's Note:**

> so... i started discussing kylux headcanons on twitter last night and this was born just this morning. probably one of the fastest things i've created and am actually 100% happy with.
> 
> kudos and bookmarks are appreciated, i hope you enjoyed reading!
> 
> [twitter: @jacksbitty || tumblr: fluidbucky]


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